


Taken and Torn

by Im_only_here_for_the_food



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: AU, Abduction, Dark, M/M, Mentions of England and France, Mentions of Suicide, Orgasm Denial, Poor Canada, Porn With Plot, Scary Russia, Smut, Some suicidal thoughts, deep universe crap, goofy America, modern day AU, no happy ending, non-con
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-20
Updated: 2017-05-14
Packaged: 2018-09-25 18:46:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9838649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Im_only_here_for_the_food/pseuds/Im_only_here_for_the_food
Summary: Matthew is Abducted and wakes to find himself in an unfamiliar environment. The loud, goofy man he is met with, Alfred, is obviously the one who took him, but that doesn't seem to be all. There seems to be more to it that Alfred isn't telling him, and that scares him, but there isn't much time for that as Alfred has other plans for him at that moment.I wouldn't call it porn, that's not the right word. It was supposed to be at first, but the shit hit the fan.





	1. All he wanted was to watch the game

Matthew had just come from a friends house late at night. He had stayed a little longer than he thought he would when he had been having a lot of fun and lost track of time.  
He decided that it was good idea to walk home because his house was not too far away, and he could save some gas, he just didn’t know he would be walking home in the middle of the night down a seemingly deserted street.  
He was tipsy from the couple of drinks he had and his mind was a little fogged up, but he was still trying to stay aware of his surroundings in case he was jumped. He almost never got drunk, he just had the occasional drink from time to time, but this was a special occasion.  
It was the big hockey finals, and his favorite team was playing. He didn’t even remember who had won by this point, though. Was it the Habs? Or was it… that other team that he couldn’t remember.  
He stumbled towards his house in the dark, just barely aware of the shadow skulking in a shadowed alleyway he had passed. He tripped on an old bottle laying in the sidewalk and fell forward, almost hitting the ground. Before he could fall completely, though, he whipped his head back to jerk his body upright again. This caused him great pain and stinging in his head as he cried out loudly, waiting for it to pass.  
He held his head in his hands, his moans echoing off of the buildings around him. Suddenly, he felt a warm body uncomfortably close behind him. Whoever was there wrapped their arms around him. One holding his abdomen in place, the other holding his head with an iron grip on his hair.  
As soon as Mattie realized what was happening, he started thrashing about, trying to get free. He screamed loudly.  
The arm that was on his stomach was raised to hold a cool cloth over his mouth, shutting him up, and making his mind go dark and hazy. He blacked out in the arms of a stranger, scared shitless, and fearing for his life.  
When he woke up, he had a terrible headache, he was sober now, though. He was lying on his back in an unfamiliar bed, in an unfamiliar room. There was damp cloth on his forehead, probably to help with the hangover.  
There was a faint light streaking in through the closed curtains of a large window. The bed he was in was comfortable, the pillows feeling cloud-like to him. Of course, his sore head would probably think that of any bed right now.  
It took him a moment to asses where he was. It was not his home, that was for sure. He was in a reasonably spacey room, with two big windows on the same wall; both curtained. He was in a bed facing the windows, with a closet on his right, and a door on his left. There wasn’t much else in the room other than that. He groaned as he tried to lift his head, feeling the aftereffects of the last night.  
Trying to sit up, he finally noticed the position his hands were in; bound to the headboard above his head with handcuffs. When he noticed this, he also noticed that his feet were tied up to the bed posts at the bottom of the bed, as well.  
He panicked, and struggled against his restraints, only accomplishing in giving himself an even worse headache. He heard rustling on the other side of the door, so he turned his head to try to get a better look.  
The door opened to reveal a tall, blonde man on the other side. The man was carrying something in his hand that Matthew couldn’t really see as he stepped in, closing the door behind him.  
“HI! How’s it going? I’m Alfred, but you can call me Al, if you like. This is my house. I like this bedroom, I hope it’s comfy. I bought it last year when I had to move away from my other house. I’ve been living on my own ever since I had to leave my folk’s place, but that’s okay I really like it, they were old anyway.” Alfred talked loudly, obnoxiously, and an awful lot for someone who had kidnapped him, and it was making Mattie’s head hurt.  
“Oh yeah…” Alfred seemed to snap out of his ramblings and get back on track. He held out his hand, showing Matthew a small glass of water and a pill. Alfred saw the scared look on Matthew’s face.  
“It’s okay. This is advil to help your head. You were pretty drunk.”  
Alfred pushed the pill between Matthew’s lips, held his head up, and helped him swallow the pill. As much as Mattie didn’t want to, as much as he wanted to protest, to scream, and fight, his head hurt too much, and he wanted the headache to go away. Matthew stayed quiet, trying not to draw too much more attention to himself. He just wanted all of this to go away. For one of the first times in his life, he wanted to stop being noticed again, like always.  
“What’s your name?” Alfred asked.  
Matthew took a moment to answer, wondering if he even should.  
“M-matthew…” He finally replied.  
“Hi, Matthew, i’m Alfred. Did I already say that? Oh well it doesn’t matter i’m Alfred hi.You’re wearing a hockey jersey are you Canadian? I like Canada alright pancakes are yummy I like pancakes. Do you like pancakes? How do you even make pancakes? Do pancakes even exist or are they just created by the secret government for secret pancake deception purposes?” Alfred started rambling again until Matthew stopped him.  
“A-actually, I a-am Canadian.” Matthew said.  
“COOL!” Alfred said loudly.  
Matthew winced at the volume of his voice, Alfred not noticing at all.  
“Why am I h-here?” Matthew asked, shaking.  
“Hm?... Oh, ‘cause I s-AH!” Alfred jumped suddenly, cutting off mid-sentence. “MY BURGERS!” He ran out of the room, leaving Mattie alone again.  
He didn’t come back for about another two and a half hours. Matthew had slipped in and out of sleep, but his headache was starting to die down significantly. He was awake when Alfred bounced happily back in the room.  
“Sorry I took so long, my burgers burnt, so I made new ones, but then they burnt ‘cause I was watching America’s next top Model, and then project runway came on and there was this great episode about this guy…” Alfred talked for a few minutes, only remembering Mattie when his long-winded story finally swung back on topic, and he got to the bit about when he ate his burgers and went back in the room.  
“-and then I came back in here and told you about my burgers and project runway!” Alfred flashed a big, toothy smile. He rarely got to finish his stories, as almost always, someone cut him off. Alfred was rarely sure if his stories ever even had endings.  
“Why did you kidnap me?” Matthew asked quietly.  
“Lotsa’ reasons!” Alfred stated cheerily. “Well, one reason. Well, mainly one reason. Big-nose said I had to. He scares me lots, fuckin’ commie.” Alfred suddenly looked a little scared himself.  
“Don’t tell him I said any of that. Oh wait you don’t know him nevermind he does have a big nose anywho- I took you because you were adorable and drunk so it was easy and I didn’t like any of this at first and he was being mean and scary but you were just really fucking hot so I went with it.”  
Matthew had no idea what was going on, he had no idea who Alfred was talking about.  
“What?” Matthew asked, unable to piece together any other words to say in his confusion.  
“What? You’re really hot I really like you lots you seem cool that commie was talking with his stupid voice and I couldn’t even understand what he was saying because his voice is so stupid so here we are and I like to make jokes about his voice but he gets angry and it scares me but I do it anyway oh well. He’s really intimidating so I just do what he says all the time but that’s okay he probably just needs someone strong and handsome to do everything because he’s so weak or he’s a wimp or something but i’m really strong so I like to prove that to him.”  
“You sure do talk a lot.” Matthew said.  
“Me? You should hear Artie! He can talk forever about stuff nobody even cares about or understands; ‘whoever likes coffee over tea is ridiculous, who let Alfred choose the movie? High functioning sociopath, do fish have fingers?’ I could go on forever he’s so annoying…”  
When Alfred was done talking, Matthew was out of breath from listening to him talk so much. Alfred seemed a little dense, which should probably have made Matthew more scared, being in the hands of a raging, crazy, psychotic idiot. They say it’s the stupid ones that are the most dangerous. You can’t outrun a maniac.  
Nevertheless, it let Matthew relax in the back of his mind for some reason, feeling like someone like that couldn’t be capable of anything too bad. It sounded like it was this other guy that he should be afraid of, who didn’t seem to be here right now.  
Matthew changed his mind about all of this when Alfred’s face changed into something more predatory and seductive. He was grinning creepily, staring down at Matthew.  
“Now, on to other things.” He said darkly.  
Alfred climbed onto the bed to straddle Matthew, and started to unbutton his shirt.  
“H-hey! Stop it, Let go!” Matthew squirmed  
“I don’t think I will.”  
Alfred finished with the buttons, trying to push the shirt off of Mattie’s shoulders, but realizing that his cuffed hands were preventing that. Alfred growled and got up.  
“One sec.” He said flatly before leaving the room. Matthew grew hopeful. He hoped that Alfred would return with a key to the cuffs, and he would have a chance to escape and get out of here. It was a small, risky possibility, but it was all he had.  
Alfred came back a few seconds later, not with a key, but with a pair of scissors.  
Matthew started to panic again, so much for that idea. Alfred resumed his position on top of Mattie and proceeded to cut his shirt up the sleeve. Matthew did not like this at all.  
“Hey, stop! Don’t cut my clothes.”  
“You won’t be needing them anymore.” Alfred retorted.  
Matthew grew more concerned at this comment, but didn’t have a lot of time to react as Alfred had nearly finished with the shirt, grew impatient, and just started ripping at the fabric to remove it from Matthew’s body.  
Soon Mattie’s shirt was ruined and discarded on the floor, and Alfred had started cutting at his jeans. Matthew squirmed more and more, now down to his underwear. He voiced his protests, but Alfred didn’t even slow down or talk back.  
Alfred succeeded in de-clothing Mattie, revealing a fully nude, muscular, well-endowed Canadian. Alfred started shredding his own clothes after taking a long, thoughtful look up and down Matthew’s body, much to Matthew’s displeasure.  
There was absolutely nothing Matthew could do about it as Alfred Removed all of his clothes, and pressed his crotch against Mattie’s. He ground his hips down, making Matthew writhe and bit his lip.  
Alfred grinned wickedly at this, applying more pressure with his hips. Matthew stared up at the ceiling, focusing on not moaning, but it was too much. He let a moan slip from his lips before screwing his eyes shut, and taking his whole bottom lip into his mouth to stop himself from making any more sound. He felt firm hand on his jaw, pulling down to open his mouth up again.  
“Let me hear you, Matthew.” Alfred said. With that, Alfred bent down to suck roughly on Matthews nipples. He bit down hard on one, while teasing the other with his hand. He pinched painfully, twisting and pulling with both his teeth and his hand. He trailed his mouth all along his chest and neck, leaving wet trails, and red marks.  
“P-p-please don-n’t hurt m-me.” Matthew gasped out. Alfred raised his head off of Matthew’s chest slightly.  
“I’m sorry. I like it rough.”  
Matthew whimpered as Alfred went back down with his mouth. He sucked harshly on skin, then bit down before moving on to another sensitive area. He slowly made his way down Matthew’s body, solely focusing on his mouth. Mattie shook when Alfred’s mouth ghosted over his slowly growing erection.  
Alfred’s mouth wrapped itself around Matthew’s cock, sucking on the tip, and tongue dipping into the slit. Matthew bucked and whined against the bindings, feeling himself getting hard.  
Alfred moved his mouth up Matthew’s cock, going deeper and deeper. He sucked harshly, swirling his tongue around the length. Soon, his cock hit the back of Alfred’s throat as Al’s nose snuggled in the hair at the base of his cock. Matthew bucked his hips again, moaning louder this time. He nearly choked Alfred, who still had Matthew’s cock deep in his mouth. He grabbed Mattie’s hips, and pushed them into the bed, holding them in place with strong hands.  
He then started to bob up and down, rising Mattie’s erection more and more. He soon had Matthew almost completely hard, using his hands to get him the rest of the way there.  
He stroked tenderly while he reached over to the bedside table and pulled something out. As soon as Mattie was fully hard. Alfred slipped something cool over his cock, preventing any hope of coming any time soon.  
“Nngh...what was that for?” Matthew asked.  
“It’s more pleasureable.” Alfred said. “For me.” He added a few seconds later. “You’re lucky. I’m almost never the one to do stuff like that, I am always the one to receive the pleasure, but I needed you hard.”  
Matthew groaned again, opting not to reply, but to just hope this would all stop soon. Alfred took something else from the bedside table, and lay them on the mattress. Matthew couldn’t see what it was from this angle, but he wanted to bet it was lube. Sure enough, a few seconds later, he heard a cap being taken off, the squelching sound, and then the cool feeling against his hole.  
Alfred teased the rim for a minute, swirling his fingers around, and curling his fingers to dip just the tip of his knuckle inside Matthew. Soon, he began to push a finger in to twist it around, stretching as much as he could with one finger.  
He added another soon after, scissoring and prodding, making Mathew moan and squirm. He added a third finger, and then a fourth, finishing off with sudden, deep jab of his fingers, Mattie throwing his head back and whimpering.  
Alfred pulled out his fingers, loving the noise it made after all of his hard work. Mattie still had his head leaned back against the pillows when he felt something jab at his entrance. It didn’t feel like a dick, it was smoother and smaller.  
Suddenly, more pressure was applied, and the strange object disappeared inside Mattie. It felt strange, but good at the same time. Whatever it was came to life inside his ass. He realized what it was, now; it was an egg vibrator.  
It shifted inside of him, and he moaned. He looked at Alfred to see him playing with the controler. The intensity went all the way up, all at once, making Matthew scream. Then, it went back down again. It went up and down a few times before settling on a relatively high speed, but not too high.  
Matthew felt the heat leave his lap as Alfred got up off of him. Mattie was confused.  
“Kay, i’ll see you in a bit.” Alfred said, as he started to leave.  
“WHAT?!” Matthew yelled. “You can’t just leave me here!”  
“The next episode of The Walking Dead is supposed to be airing any time now, and I can’t miss it. I’ll be back soon, don’t worry.” Alfred said as he left the room, closing the door as he went.  
Matthew screamed after him, but it was no use, he was stuck like this until Alfred was ready to come back. Matthew felt the vibrator turn up again, and then down, and he moaned, frustrated now, and feeling sharp pains in his restrained erection.


	2. Syrup

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matthew makes pancakes

Mattie had his head bent back resting on the pillows with his eyes closed. 

This was all starting to seem like a dream. He wished it was a dream. He hoped that when he woke up this would all just turn into some sort of twisted nightmare. His head was foggy and tired. He felt so overwhelmed, it didn’t seem real. He felt a sick feeling in his gut, and not the good kind. It was that ‘what’s going to happen’ feeling. The complete fear of not knowing something, and it scared the shit out of him. 

Before he could totally convulse into himself in terror, Alfred skipped back into the room to snap him out of his thoughts. 

“Yo! I’m back.” He cheered.

Matthew groaned and subconsciously felt himself pull against the chains. The feeling of the metal against his raw skin pulled him into a full state of full consciousness.

Mattie tensed when Alfred came to straddle his lap again. It was then that Matthew noticed the large scar down Alfred’s side and the redness and scabs around his own wrists. 

The scar started just under his armpit, a little toward the front of his body, and then down diagonally toward his back, ending just above his waist. 

“What’s that from?” Matthew asked curiously, nodding toward the scar.

Alfred tensed and brought his arms tight against his body to cover the scar. 

“It’s nothing.” Alfred brushed off.

Matthew didn’t want to question any more than that, not wanting to know what Alfred would do to him.

Alfred turned the vibrator off and then reached down to pull it out. Matthew squeaked when he felt it push past his entrance. It made a wet sound when it came out, dripping on the sheets below them. 

Alfred set the vibrator and controller aside, and leaned down to roughly kiss Matthew. He pressed his crotch against Mattie’s ass. 

“Please don’t” Mattie made one last, desperate plea. Alfred sighed. 

“You still don’t want it. I’ll tell you what, after I fuck you, i’ll undo the cuffs and show you around.” He said softly.

Matthew made a noise in the back of his throat, still not wanting it, but unable to do anything. Alfred sighed again, but started to push in. He kept his eyes locked on Matthew’s face as he went.

His expression was pained, not in literal hurting, but more regret. Regret of walking home alone in the dark, drinking too much, and not keeping pepper spray on him. 

His brow was furrowed and his eyes were closed. His bottom lip protruded a little in a pout, but he looked unnaturally calm, like he had accepted the situation and just wanted to get through it. 

Alfred pushed halfway in before pulling out to the tip. He moaned as he pushed back in, all the way this time. Matthew could feel himself being stretched thoroughly, and pushed his waist up a little to feel it better. 

Alfred started to pick up the pace, moving faster and harder. He pounded into Mattie harshly, and it was making him hurt more.

After a few minutes, Alfred looked for Matthew’s prostate, then finding it, hit it over and over. Matthew arched his and screeched, feeling all tingly and unsettled with no release. He shook uncontrollably, and Alfred found this really arousing and funny at the same time.

Alfred soon came with one last, particularly hard thrust against Matthew’s prostate. He spilled out into Matthew’s ass, then pulled out with a squelch. 

Mattie looked pleadingly up at Alfred, his eyes begging to let him come. Alfred smiled with fake innocence, shifting his weight back on his heals.

Alfred reached out to touch Matthew’s cock, making it twitch, and Matthew thrust out wildly. 

“I bet you want to come,” Alfred said. Matthew nodded vigorously. “Beg me.” He added after.

Matthew’s cheeks turned red as he pouted further, but he was hurting, and all he wanted was to come.

“Please let me come.” he said softly.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t hear. What was that?”

“Please let me come!” He said louder. Alfred put his hand behind his ear, prompting him to say it again. He then tugged at Mattie’s cock tightly, causing him to shriek out in pain.

“Let me come! Please! P-please,” he whimpered one last time. 

Alfred giggled and removed the cock ring from Mattie, and he almost immediately came after. Alfred pumped him through his orgasm, getting streaks of white up his chest and stomach.

Matthew slumped down on the bed, feeling drained after finally coming. Alfred got off of Mattie, stepping away to stand next to the bed.

“I’ll be right back” he said. He then walked out of the room, leaving Mattie with semi closed eyes in the sweaty sheets. 

Alfred returned a few minutes later, cleaned off and wearing a loose fitting pair of track pants. He was carrying a bowl of water with a cloth in it. He set the bowl on the bedside table and pulled out a key from his pocket. 

He took off all of the bindings, letting Matthew sit up by himself. Matthew curled his limbs toward his body and took a minute to regain himself before rising to sit on the edge of the bed. 

He stretched his arms out to the side, hearing the crack of his stiff bones and muscles. 

Alfred handed him the cloth and he wiped himself down, feeling a lot better after getting all the sweat and jizz off of himself. Alfred retrieved a clean pair of boxers and a thin pair of track pants from the closet and handed them to Matthew. 

After dressing, Matthew turned to look at Alfred standing in the doorway, pinning Matthew with his eyes. Matthew shrunk under his smirk.  
“Let’s go, i’ll show you around my awesome, hero house.” Alfred said enthusiastically.

Alfred walked out of the room, followed by Matthew. They stepped out into a short hallway a door on both sides. One of the doors led into a bathroom, and the other one was glass, and it led onto a balcony. Apparently they were awfully high up.

The hallway led out into a massive living room with a big bay window on the same wall as the balcony. Across the living room was an almost an identical hallway as the one they just came from. There was a balcony, and a bedroom on the end. 

“That’s my room, it’s a little bigger and there is another door that leads out onto the balcony as well as an adjoining bathroom.” Alfred explained. “Wait ‘till you see all my cool posters!” 

What Matthew had to assume was the front door was in a corner on the opposite wall as the bay window. There was a tiny separator wall next to the door with a bookcase filled with video games on the other side. 

Matthew eyed the door cautiously, wondering if there was any chance of getting out when Alfred wasn't looking.

On the same wall as the hallway where they had come from was a big flatscreen t.v. with a coffee table and a couch facing it. 

On the other side of the television, still on the same wall was a door to the kitchen.

“Let’s go get food!” Alfred said excitedly.

“Didn’t you just have burgers?” Matthew questioned, 

“Nah, that was like two hours ago! I’m hungry again.” Alfred stated.

The kitchen was also massive, with a breakfast bar, and bid glass table, and tall windows on the far wall. 

“Oh, Hey!” Alfred exclaimed, “You should make pancakes! I wanna taste ‘em!” 

“O-okay,” Matthew said, “ I might make a mess, though”

“That’s okay, I always make messes! It’s always more fun when there’s a mess!” 

“Oh, well then i’m going to need some ingredients. I need flour, vanilla, eggs, salt, baking powder, milk, a bowl, whisk, measuring cups, a pan, a ladle, and a spatula.” Matthew listed off the ingredients to a recipe he memorized when he was 13. 

After Alfred got out all of the things they would need, it looked like fun, so alfred wanted to help.

“I want to help, too! I’m actually very good at cooking i’ll have you know i’m a lot better than Artie of course everyone’s better than Artie he sucks and he can’t get that stupid frog perve of his order now Francis is a good cook even though he’s a perv…”

Matthew instructed Alfred on what he could do, like pouring the flour into a measuring cup, which he got all over himself. 

“It came out too fast!” He said, annoyed.

When the batter was mixed, and the pan was heated up and greased, Matthew was ready to cook the pancakes. His stomach was rumbling,and he was ready for some food. 

“Here, i’ll show you a cool trick.” Matthew said. He took the ladle and made a large ring of batter in the pan. He then drew the letter ‘A’ inside the circle and let it cook for a few seconds. He filled in the empty spots and let that cook, too. He flipped the pancake over to reveal a perfect ‘A’ cooked into it.

“See? ‘A’ for Alfred” Matthew said.

“Cool! We need to make an ‘M’, too and then we can make shapes! Maybe we can make the american flag and maybe an eagle!”

Matthew chuckled, “You must be really patriotic.”

“Yeah, I love America! America rules!” Alfred raised two fingers to his temple in a small salute. “Do you miss Canada?”

“Yeah, I do. I miss the snow, and the kind people. You don’t get a lot of snow around here, and i’ve been dying to go skiing. And to play hockey!” He added. 

They finished making the pancakes with minimal damage done. There was flour all over the counter, and Alfred burnt himself trying to see hot the pan was. It was very hot. Other than that, though, everything turned out okay.

“Do you have any syrup?” Matthew asked.

“Yep, In the fridge.” 

Matthew got the syrup and put it on the table along with the pancakes, plates, and cutlery.

Alfred took 4 pancakes and poured what to Matthew, looked like a third of the bottle of syrup on them. He scarfed them down and finished before Mattie could, even though he took more than him. 

“You’ve got syrup on your chest,” Alfred pointed out.

Before Matthew could do anything, Alfred had leaned over the corner of the table to lick it off. He licked his lips and made an appreciative hum in his throat. 

Alfred picked up the syrup bottle and opened the lid. 

“I wonder if i…” Alfred trailed off mid-sentence, a gleam in his eye. 

He reached across the table again and poured syrup all down Mattie’s chest before he could do anything about it.

Matthew jumped up and reached for a napkin, but Alfred stepped up behind him to grab his hand. Alfred then turned him around to face him, and pushed his back against the surface of the table.

“Ah!” Matthew squirmed as Alfred pinned his hands above his head, He started to lick the syrup off of his chest with his tongue.

The syrup was sticky, and was getting all over Alfred’s face and arms, but he didn’t seem to notice. 

Alfred licked down all the dips in Matthew’s skin, sucking and biting every so often. His tongue trailed through Matthew’s navel as he sighed against his skin. 

When Alfred was done with his stomach and chest, he moved up to plant soft kisses and nips along Mattie’s jawline. 

“Mmmm,” Alfred hummed into Mattie’s skin before standing up and releasing him. Matthew arose from the table, uneasy after being touched like that. Alfred noticed the look on Mattie’s face and shook his head.

“If you can’t handle me doing stuff to you, you’re in for a shock when big nose drops by.”

“W-what?” Matthew’s eyes widened.

Alfred’s face turned to something in between pity and fear, and he turned away from Matthew.

“He’s coming over today.” Alfred said solemnly, “And you have to be nice or he won’t like you, and god knows what will happen if he doesn’t.” 

“Okay,” Matthew replied softly, now more scared than ever.


	3. Crushed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ivan comes over, and Matthew tells a story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has more plot, and is kind of darker. I meant for this fic to be mostly smut, but I had an idea. Oh well...

It had been an hour or two after the pancakes. Alfred had warned Matthew not to try to escape as it was no use anyway; he wasn’t going to let Matthew leave.

Alfred seemed surprisingly more like a wild, wacky, over-enthusiastic friend than he did a kidnapper. He did at times anyway. He loved to talk and show Matthew around his house. He had shown Matthew his superhero figurine collection (saying that Captain America was his favourite) and of course, his posters.

He had a colorful array of band, comic, and t.v. show posters plastered on every inch of space on his wall. 

Matthew found himself wondering that if Alfred wasn’t such a huge creep, and hadn’t kidnapped him, if maybe they’d get along pretty well. Matthew actually laughed at some of Alfred’s jokes before realizing what he did and silencing himself.

Matthew was sitting on the couch as Alfred danced wildly to a song that he had blasted on his speaker system. He wanted to have a dance party and wanted Matthew to dance with him, but Matthew was not in the mood to dance with the person who abducted him, so he decided to just watch.

Alfred swung his arms around in the air, not really dancing so much as spasming out. He was whipping his head around when he bent down a little too far and hit it on the corner of the coffee table.

He collapsed on the floor in a ball, holding his head in his hands.

“FUCKING SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!” He screamed out loudly, probably making it seem worse than it actually was. 

Matthew thought about taking advantage of Alfred’s state and running to the door. He was still worried that it might be locked, or their were other precautionary methods in place, too. Just as he was starting to think that he would actually do it, there was a knock at the door.

When Alfred heard it, he stopped screaming and poked his head up through his hands. He then jumped up off the ground to get the door. He seemed fine after that, but there was a purplish bruise forming on his forehead. 

He looked through the peep hole in the door before opening it, casting another long, sad glance at Matthew. He took a moment to compose his face before letting whoever it was inside.

He opened the door softly and stepped aside.

“Ivan” Alfred greeted.  
The man at the door, Ivan, was tall with hair somewhere in between gray and white. He was wearing a tan trenchcoat and a long, white scarf. 

Ivan’s face was the hardest to read. He looked happy, smiling, but not in a genuine way. His eyes didn’t match his smile, but Matthew couldn’t figure out what it was that his eyes were saying in comparison to his smile, he just knew that it was creepy.

Ivan gave a simple head nod to Alfred as he took his jacket off and stepped inside. He handed his jacket to Alfred, who hung it up by the door.

Ivan turned to Matthew, who was still sitting down on the couch. His eyes turned to something deeper, like hunger, as his smile widened. 

Matthew, not liking the way he was being stared down at, stood to feel more in control of himself. He looked away quickly when Ivan gave him a menacing stare. 

Alfred spoke up then.

“This is Matthew.” He said, seeming a little more confident than before, but still with a hint of fear in his voice.

“Mat-matv-ooh. Matvew.” Ivan crinkled his brow, stuttering over the name in a thick, Russian accent.

Matthew held his hand out to shake. He was trembling and was frightened, but he still had his manners. 

Ivan just looked him up and down with those deep, creepy eyes, not making any action to shake his hand. He was still smiling, making his face seem soft and innocent, but Matthew could tell he was anything but.

Without taking his eyes off of Matthew, Ivan spoke to Alfred, who was standing behind him.

“You have done well, Alfred.” 

Alfred smiled sadly, “thanks.” He scratched the back of his neck, not really knowing what to say.

“Tell me about yourself, Matvey.” Ivan said, turning his attention back towards Mattie.

“Who are you?” Matthew asked shakily. Alfred looked worried when Matthew said that, fearing Ivan would get angry.

“I’m Ivan” he replied simply. “You will answer all of my questions, and do what I say, da?”

Matthew looked down, fearing Ivan. He was intimidated by his face, his voice, his clothes, and there was no escaping it. He thought it was best if he just answered Ivan, hoping he would find way to escape them later.

“I-i’m from Canada.” He said, “I’m 21, and I work part time at a bookstore downtown.”

“College student?”

“University.” 

This seemed like an interrogation to Matthew, and he didn’t like it. Ivan sat down in an armchair close to the couch, and gestured for Matthew to sit, too. Matthew hesitantly sat on the sofa, and Alfred sat beside him quietly. 

“And when did you leave Canada?” Ivan continued. 

“When I turned 19. I moved down here to go to school.”

“And what about your family?”

“My family? What about them?” Matthew didn’t want to talk about his family to this stranger.

“Do you have any? Where do they live?” Ivan clarified.

“Um… My parents live in Vancouver, a-and I have a couple of relatives in Montreal.”

“Any siblings?” 

“Uh, yeah. A um… a younger sister.” Matthew’s voice slowed and stuttered, really not wanting to talk about his sister.

“And where is she now?”

“She um… she…” Matthew hung his head low, taking in a shaky breath.

“Yes?”

 

“She killed herself last year.” Matthew said quickly, bringing his hand up to nervously run across his face.

Alfred’s eyes widened, and he looked like he wanted to console Matthew, but his eyes shot over to Ivan, knowing he shouldn’t with him around.

“And why was that?” Ivan pushed further. 

“You know… I don’t really want to talk about her, can we just-”

“Tell me” Ivan cut him off, his words forceful. 

Matthew brought his hand up to grip his mouth in thought for a moment before continuing.

“She had some health issues. She had a rare disease thing in her immune system, and it was hard for her in school. She had to drop out and take her courses online, and it was hard for her to fight. She depended on her friends and family to support and take care of her because she was so sick.” Matthew paused for a moment to close his eyes. 

“She hated relying on the people around her, and above that, all of her plans and hopes were squashed because of this disease. She had plans to join the military, it was all lined up. She was going to be a pilot for the RCAF, but when she got sick, they wouldn’t take her. She then found a university to go to, and she was going to be a doctor, but then it got really bad. She couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, and she started to hallucinate from the lack of energy. We didn’t know what we were dealing with at the time so they just jacked her up on all the meds they could think of.” Matthew had started to cry silently by this point, unable to stop his story once he had started. 

“We finally found a doctor that diagnosed her, prescribing the proper medication at last. She finally started to look a little better, but she still couldn’t go to school, and she was still in pain. She had to watch all of her friends go off to college to achieve their own dreams, and it killed her. After years of fighting, she couldn’t take it anymore.” Matthew covered his eyes with his hands.

“I w-walked into her room one day to f-find her unconscious, covered in her own blood, with a razor blade in her hand.” He was now sobbing and choking in his hands while he talked, and Alfred had even started to cry a little, too.

“Sh-she had taken all of her meds at once. There was vomit everywhere. I-i called the ambulance, and they came to get her. She died in the hospital the next day. Her last words to m-me w-wer-re-” Matthew broke down in a fit of harsh tears, unable to continue. 

Alfred had his knees pulled up to his chest, and was brushing away a tear himself.

“Thank you, Matvey. That must have been hard.” Ivan said, his voice without real sympathy, only a fake tone that you would use with a small child.

“Take him to his room, Alfred.” He said.

Alfred got up and helped Matthew to his feet. He led Matthew down the hall back to where Matthew had woken up. After laying Mattie in his bed, Alfred closed the door and went to rejoin Ivan in the living room.

Matthew cried and shook for a few minutes, trying to get himself to settle down. He was overcome with emotion, and his mind was foggy. 

He finally got up off the bed, wanting to know what Ivan and Alfred were doing. He walked up to the door and pressed his ear to the cool surface. 

He had missed the first part of the conversation, and was only really getting bits and pieces from the room he was in. He could hear them talking about something, though.

“-not yet, Alfred-”

“-please-I just want to see them.” There was a moment of silent mumbling when their words grew quieter. 

“No...ungrateful whore-” There was more quiet until suddenly there was a loud slap, and then some pained whimpering.

Matthew winced, knowing that Alfred had just been hit. 

“No! Please!” That was Alfred’s voice, louder this time. Then, there was some louder whimpering, but it seemed to be getting quieter, like they were moving farther away. Matthew heard a door being opened and then slammed shut. 

For the next little while, all Matthew heard were loud slaps, screams, and whimpers. They were panting heavily, and occasionally Matthew heard Alfred yell something like;

“No, stop!” or “please!” or “No more!” But there was never an answer from Ivan, and Matthew suddenly felt bad for Alfred, as bad as he felt for himself at that moment.

Matthew was too frightened to do anything but curl up in the bed with a pillow over his ears. The noises continued for what seemed like an eternity in Matthew’s mind, him falling into a deep sleep after a few hours. 

He had a nightmare while he slept, though he couldn’t quite remember what it was about the next day. He did recall seeing his sister’s face, though. It was soft and smiling, like how it was before she got sick, and he wanted to remember it forever. At the same time, though, he didn’t want to think about it, it caused too much pain.


	4. Family drama

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Learn a bit about Alfred's backstory, and the tension between him and Matthew. Probably some more smut in the next chapter, but this is more of a filler. Also, I apologize for the writing quality, but my tired brain seems to think this is okay. Constructive criticism would not be turned down.

Matthew woke up the next day curled up in a pool of sweat and tears. His sleep was disrupted multiple times by Alfred’s screams and pleads from outside his room, and when the shouts did not wake him, they just spurred on Matthew’s nightmares.

All he wanted was to go home and be with his family again, this was the third day being trapped here and his stomach twisted at the thought of the outside world and what he was missing. He wanted to see friends, and his house, and his life. He wanted to see visit his sister’s grave. He pushed those thoughts aside to focus on his current situation.

Matthew was lying on his side with his left arm pinned underneath his body. It was asleep and aching from being slept on at a funny angle.

He rose shakily from the bed to stand hesitantly, rocking back and forth on sore legs. He could now hear water running and muffled shuffling from out in in the hall, so he walked over to the door and rested his hand on the doorknob.

Matthew slowly pulled the door open to peek through the small crack. He saw Alfred standing alone in the bathroom wearing only a pair of joggers, holding what looked to be some kind of bandage. 

Matthew stepped out of the bedroom to stand a foot or two from the door of the bathroom. He could now see that Alfred had bruises all over his torso and neck. He looked dishevelled and broken; his hair was a mess, his eyes were puffy and red, and he was shaking and pale. 

The worst of it was the scar that Matthew had noticed the other day, it looked a lot worse than it had earlier. It was redder and flakier, and surrounded by a purple tint. It looked as if it had been reopened painfully. 

Matthew was filled with sadness when he saw Alfred like this. He could now see how Alfred was being treated and for the moment, pushed aside the resentment and hate towards him for being abducted for a minute to pity and feel for him.

Alfred was standing in the mirror with gauze and polysporin trying to treat it. He was wiping it down messily with the gauze and wincing harshly. His shaking hands accidentally pressed down right into the open wound and he dropped what he was holding to scream out.

“Fucking shit! Shit ow...ngh” He hissed through his teeth as he assessed the damage done. 

Matthew stepped up to the doorway and cleared his throat. Alfred looked up at him with his wide, wet eyes and he his face hardened.

“Matthew. Just let me get a shirt on,” he fumbled around in a pile of clothes behind the door until Mattie stopped him.

“No, wait. Let me help.” Matthew said, sympathetically.

“No, i’m fine, I just need to find a shirt.” Alfred kept rummaging around on the floor, barely keeping his balance.

“Alfred. You’re hurt, let me help. I know what i’m doing.” Matthew pushed.

Alfred stared up into Matthew’s eyes, seeing the worry and fear in them, and most of all; the determination. He sighed and stood up, letting Matthew steady him as he gripped the edge of the counter.

Matthew reached for a washcloth from the shelf next to the sink and wet it before wringing it out. He gently dabbed the edges of Alfred’s large scar to clean it out. 

“He makes you do this, doesn’t he?” Matthew asked quietly. 

Alfred said nothing, he just lowered his head and looked away.

“He hurts you. He uses you.” Matthew dabbed away a large glob of dried blood from an infected area of the wound.

Alfred nodded his head slowly, wincing slightly as Matthew continued. 

They were quiet for the next few minutes as Matthew worked. The air in the room was heavy and depressing, weighing down on their shoulders as they stood in silence.

Matthew finished cleaning the scar, and he bandaged it up with some ointment, gauze, and medical tape. He then moved on to treat some of Alfred’s smaller wounds, gently washing them and bandaging the bleeding ones.

“If that gets anymore infected, you’ll have to see a doctor.” Matthew said, breaking the solemn silence that hung in the room.

“I-I can’t do that.” Alfred said, “They’ll ask questions and Ivan…” He trailed off on the thought of Ivan, looking sadly up at Matthew. 

“Has he left?” Matthew asked. 

“Yeah”

“He’s coming back, isn’t he? For me… he wants me?”

Alfred was quiet for a minute, not knowing how to answer at first. He finally settled for the truth, “In two days.”

Matthew nodded, his mouth dry, his eyes on the floor.

“Why?” Matthew asked, “Why does he make you do this? How does he make you do this? Why me?” Matthew had so many questions that were eating at him up, questions that Alfred could not answer.

“I still have posters that I haven’t shown you,” Alfred said, changing the subject.

“No, I need to know. I shouldn’t be stuck in this situation and not know why.” Matthew said. “I shouldn’t be stuck in this situation at all.” He added.

“No! Stop nagging at me, I have no answers for you” 

“Tell me”

“Stop it. There’s nothing I can say to you, so stop asking or i’ll tie you up again and fuck you, and then leave you there until he comes to get you!”

Matthew stopped asking for answers then from Alfred under his threat. He looked away from the agitated glare he was getting and stepped back into the hallway.

“Let’s go see your posters” he said quietly. 

Alfred stepped out of the bathroom, turning the light off behind him and walked towards the living room. He walked to his room and opened the door, Matthew following behind him.

Alfred’s room was messier than when Matthew fist saw it. The covers of his bed had fallen into a pile on the floor, and the air had that sticky smell of sweat and sex. 

Alfred walked across the room and opened up his closet to reveal even more posters behind some clothes on hangers. He pushed aside the clothes to get a good look at the posters.

One particular one caught Matthew’s eyes.

“You like Marianas Trench?” he asked casually.

“Yeah, they’re one of my favourites!” Alfred said.

“They’re a Canadian band. They’re from Vancouver.” Matthew said proudly.

“I know, they’re pretty cool for a band from country that isn’t America.” Alfred replied snarkily.

Matthew chuckled and shook his head. 

He was starting to feel better about Alfred. He didn’t want to tell himself that he liked him or anything, because he would always be the guy who raped him, but he was just not feeling totally terrible about him. Matthew actually kind of pitied him, he wasn’t sure what exactly was going on between him and Ivan, but it didn’t seem good.  
It seemed like Alfred was also in a difficult situation, which made it hard for Matthew to hate him. Maybe another person would still hate Alfred, but Matthew was always looking for reasons to like people, even if sometimes it was subconsciously or against his will. 

In all honesty, Matthew was totally unsure of how he felt, and what to do. He wanted to hate Alfred, he wanted to kick and scream and escape. But, at the same time, he wanted to feel bad for him, he wanted to help, but he didn’t know how. Matthew thought about this, he felt like he was being torn apart from the inside out. The more he thought about it; the more he thought about Alfred, the more he felt for him.

He thought of the way Alfred smiled, how he was so passionate, how enthusiastic he was. Matthew zoned out thinking about him, but quickly realized how wrong it was.

No, no, no, Matthew thought, I do not have feelings for this guy. He raped me...he RAPED me!

Matthew tried to knock some sense into his brain, reasoning all the things that Alfred had done to him, but he still felt for him, in so many ways.

He convinced himself that he was just sorry for Alfred, and he was tired and lonely, but before he could think anymore on it, he was snapped out of his daze by Alfred’s voice.

“So, what’s your favourite Marianas Trench song?” 

“Oh… um, probably ‘Here’s to the zeros” Matthew said softly.

“Man, I LOVE that one, but I think I like Ever After better, of course that whole album rocks and it’s so hard to actually chose a favourite but it’s at least in my top five but I also like a lot of other bands so I can’t decide if it’s in my top five overall but definitely for that band…”

Matthew listened as Alfred rambled, nodding along, trying to keep up with all he was saying. He genuinely liked to hear him talk, and that scared him. He was worried about what it meant for him, and why the hell it was happening.

I’m so messed up. 

He had more pressing issues anyway; Ivan was coming in two days to get him, and he had no idea what would happen to him after that. There was nothing he could do about it either

…….

Alfred was sitting on the floor in front of the t.v. playing video games, totally blissful and chilled out. He glanced up at Matthew who was sitting on the couch above him.

Mattie had his knees up to his chest and his head was buried in his arms. He was still and quiet, and Alfred pouted, looking to the ground in thought.

He searched for something to say, he wanted to make it at least a little okay for Matthew while he still could, but there wasn’t a lot that he actually could do. 

He knew he liked Matthew, and he really wanted to explain things to him, to make him understand. Hell, he wanted to let him go. He wanted Matthew to live a happy life with friends and family, and be successful and feel fulfilled. If he could, he wanted to be a part of that life, too. He wanted to make Matthew happy with him. He wanted… he wanted… he wanted. He wanted so much, but there was nothing that Alfred could do about it. Alfred was boxed in, he was between a rock and a really, unbelievably overpowering, unmovable hard place with a russian accent. He wanted to be free.

“Hey, dude. Look, i’d really like to explain this to you, but I couldn’t even begin to… I can’t form the words...and even if I could, I… just can’t.” Alfred did his best, but this kind of communication was not his forte. He was never good at deep conversations, or meaningful words. He had always been a mess with relationships, school, work, and he couldn’t decide if that made his job more difficult, or if it wasn’t something that his job required. 

“I know, Al, i’m just confused.” Matthew said sympathetically, he looked up at him, his eyes red and exhausted. 

“Hey” Alfred’s smile picked up a little, “you called me Al”

“Yeah, I guess I feel we don’t need to be too formal, you know?”

“Yeah.” Alfred’s head sunk, his heart and mind hurt, and he was going to hate himself later for what he was about to do.

“Okay, here’s the deal; I can’t tell you much, but you’re right, you do deserve to know why this is happening, so I can share a little. Although, you need to understand that this is hard for me too.” He paused, feeling like he shouldn’t continue, but knowing that he needed to.

Matthew lifted his a little more when it seemed like he was finally going to get some answers.

“I hate doing this” Alfred started, “I can’t stand it, and I hate myself for it, but I have to do it.” He paused again while he thought about what he was going to say. “I have to do it because he has my parents.”

“What?!” Matthew didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know what to think.

“My foster parents, anyway. I don’t know who my real parents are, but they raised me. I do it so I can see them again. He’s holding them hostage, and he says that if I kidnap people for him, I can have them back.”

“Oh my god. I’m so sorry.” Matthew felt even worse now, “thank you for telling me.”

“I can’t really tell you anything else, it’s a bit more complicated than that, but I hope that’s a little better.”

Matthew smiled weakly, out of words to say. 

“I’m messed up, Mattie. You have no idea how much, and I am sorry that you got caught in the middle of my shitty problems.”

Matthew was silent, he couldn’t begin to understand what Alfred was going through, so he let him talk.

“Earlier when I said I left my folks place, I meant they were stolen from me. And when I was complaining about Artie, I was naming all the thing I missed about one of my foster dads… and then I fucked you like I did with the others to compensate… or to make myself feel better or something. He said I should.he said I should get something else out of it, and then he fixed me with that creepy stare.”

“Your parents, they sound like good people.” Matthew said, and it was all he could say at the moment. How could he even try to relate?

“They’re the best.” Alfred said.

They sat in a sad silence for a few minutes before Alfred spoke again.

“Was your sister a good person?” Alfred asked.

“She was so great. She wasn’t one of those people that everyone just likes, you had to get used to her. She had a rough personality, but she was hilarious, and I loved her.”

“What did she say to you before she passed?” Alfred inquired. He wasn’t trying to be nosey or anything, he was just curious, but he was worried it would make Mattie upset.

Matthew chuckled, wiping a stray tear from the side of his face. 

“It was; ‘Matt, you idiot, you should’ve broken up with that horny little shit like an adult, and then stolen the bastard’s t.v. and egged his house while he was out of town.”


	5. Sadness and Suicide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matthew gets into some deep shit in his head, and Ivan comes to visit again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember when I said "smut in next chapter?" I was wrong. Instead there's some scary universe shit and deep, complicated suicide thoughts. So if thoughts like "Why am I here" or "What even is the point in life" or anything like that triggers you, don't read this chapter. But actually, smut in NEXT chapter.

Matthew and Alfred chatted for hours. It was like two old friends catching up, and Matthew nearly forgot all about Ivan and Alfred and everything, It was just a friendly conversation. Nevertheless, it still ate away at the back of his mind, through all the almost familiar chatter and banter with Alfred. 

It may not have been the back of his mind. More like the side somewhere, and it rung heavily and steadily in his ears as he talked. 

The more he looked at Alfred, the more he talked with him, the more it ate at him from the inside. He started hearing his heartbeat wildly. 

Thump thump thump thump

He continued talking, barely noticing his increased heart rate. 

Alfred said something about the president; a joke of some kind, Matthew assumed. He had zoned out for a few seconds, but he laughed and nodded his head. Alfred’s cheeks were warm and rosy, and his eyes sparkled. Matthew noted the small features of Alfred’s face; the crinkle in his cheeks, thump the inconsistent but beautiful shades of blue in his eyes, thump thump the blonde hair that swept across his face, thump the thin scar just below his ear.

Thump thump thump

He started noticing his heart. Thump. He noticed his face getting hotter. THUMP. He noticed his hands shaking. THUMP THUMP THUMP.

He noticed Alfred’s face change expression; his smile suddenly dropped and turned into a frown. It was a worried kind of frown, and he studied Matthew’s face.

“Are you alright? You’re totally pale.” Alfred said.

THUMP

His hands felt clammy.

THUMP THUMP

His lungs felt like they were shrinking.

THUMP THUMP

He couldn’t breath. He was struggling and gasping. He clutched his chest.

THUMP THUMP

“Oh my god Matthew, what’s happeni-”

He couldn’t hear Alfred’s voice, it faded into the background as muffled noises. Even as he felt himself fall to his knees on the ground and he felt Alfred’s hands on his shoulders. He couldn’t concentrate on anything. 

The surroundings were fuzzy and he couldn’t feel the ground beneath his hands and feet, but he could sure as hell feel the burning in his lungs and throat and head. It was pounding through him as he struggled to breath, and he recognized that what he may have mistaken earlier as feelings towards Al, was really a panic attack.

THUMP THUMP THUMP

Breath 

Matthew’s legs and arms shook. He couldn’t focus, and his chest burned. Breath 

THUMP THUMP THUMP

Where was he? What happened? His head hurt, and he felt confused. Breath 

THUMP THUMP THUMP

Breath. Dark. He collapsed, only slightly aware of himself, though he was pretty much unconscious. The last thing he remembered was Alfred’s hands on him, holding him up against his body.

Matthew snapped into reality once again a little while later. He immediately wished he hadn’t once remembered what had happened. Sleep was all that seemed appealing. He was laying in a bed with the covers pulled up halfway and a cool cloth resting on his forehead. 

He was lying in a haze of sweat and sleep, and it felt damp and uncomfortable. Matthew wanted to shower really badly, realizing it had been a few days since his last one. 

He was scared and hurt. He was not okay, it was all too much to handle and he needed to get out.

He sat up groggily and rubbed his eyes. Matthew was then aware of another presence in the room. It was Alfred. He was sitting anxiously in a chair in the corner, but immediately sat up once he realized that Matthew was awake.

“Mattie. Mattie, are you okay? You really scared me.”

Mattie shook his head and sniffled into his hand. Alfred looked very upset, but he also looked hurt, like Mattie was personally attacking him. Matthew didn’t think that was fair of him, even though he wanted Alfred to get his parents back. He never wanted this. He didn’t know Alfred, and he didn’t know his parents, but he knew his own family and wanted to see them again. He also knew the law, and and all of this was like an all out war against it.

“Mattie. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” Alfred started crying grossly. His hands were on Mattie’s and his head was down. He couldn’t look the other man in the eye so he squeezed them shut as he shook.

“I need to shower.” Matthew said coldly, pulling his hands from Al’s and rising from the bed. 

Alfred nodded slowly, clearing his throat.

“Of course. There are clean clothes in the closet, a-and there are soaps in the bathroom.” 

He pointed behind his shoulder absentmindedly, still not able to look up and feeling really guilty. 

Matthew retrieved an outfit from the closet and stalked out of the room, loudly closing the bathroom door on his way in. 

He turned the water on hot and stripped out of his clothes. 

Stepping into the shower felt like the most wonderful feeling in the world. Matthew couldn’t think of anything better.

He stood under the stream for a few minutes, just letting the water run through his hair and down his back. It washed layers of sweat and grime off of his fair skin.

The heat was helping with Matthew’s sore muscles and aching head. His thoughts wandered as he rubbed his shoulders to relieve the tension that had built up over the last few days.

He wondered what would happen to him, and if there was any way he could escape it. Could he escape? There had to be a way. Alfred wasn’t exactly guarding the front door or anything, but he had no idea what was outside it or where he was. 

Matthew reached for the shampoo sitting on the shelf in the shower. He thoughtfully massaged it through his hair, enjoying the feeling of the washing away all of the grime from the past few days. He wished he could wash away more than that, but you get what you get. 

You certainly do get what you get. That was ironic. It seemed like that was all life was anymore. You don’t get things you do want, and you get stuck with things you don’t want. Like loud Americans and creepy Russians. 

He wondered if it was all worth it; if life was all worth it. Yeah, there are some amazing things to see in the world, but at what cost? At the cost of your entire life being wasted away with bills and deaths and stress. Of course there was the occasional person who was able to scrape by with very little, and instead of owning an expensive house in the city, spends their time couchsurfing in Ireland or something. Matthew almost envied people like that, but even that kind of living has it’s cons. No matter what, there would always be something to pay for, someone you love who’s sick, or someone you hate who’s still very much alive. There was always some sort of stress; a bad day, week, month. A bad life all together.

Also, couchsurfing in Ireland can only last you so long. Sooner or later you get old or sick and you need proper care. What do you do after that? 

It was there, standing in his abductor’s shower, washing the shampoo out of his hair, that Matthew realised; it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered, he was eventually going to die anyway. He wasn’t doing anything with his life before, he was never going to see Ireland, he was never going to see the one person he loved the most while he was still alive. 

He thought he may as well kill himself too. It would be so easy, or at least easier than going through life stressed and sad.

Even if his life was successful, even if he had a great job, had a great family, even if he actually got to travel and see some of the more amazing parts of his home planet, he still would have to face the inevitability of death. And what about after that? No one would care. After a few years, his family would move on. And a few more years when his family and friends were dead, he’d be long gone, and the human race wouldn’t care. The universe wouldn’t care. 

The universe was so wide and open, and he was so small in unimportant. His entire planet and species was unimportant. All humans were doing was wrecking the one planet they had, and then they started exploring new planets they could wreck as well. 

There were probably so many intelligent species out there, and none of them would care about any of the human race dying off.

As much as Matthew liked learning about space, and science, and new technology, he would never be around for when the real stuff started. He would never get to see the colonizing of other planets, or any technology that could actually change people’s lives. He would never get to see any new species. Nothing exciting on that level would ever happen in Matthew’s lifetime, and the universe didn’t care. 

Matthew was overwhelmed, but he wasn’t panicky like before. It was all so clear to him. If he just didn’t try; if he just died then, it would still be the same as if he died in 60 years, just without all of the stress. 

Matthew thought about killing himself. It would be so easy, it would rid of all of the stress and heartbreak, but he was too scared. It was frightening not knowing what would happen to him. He didn’t know if there was an afterlife, but what if there was, and what if it was worse than living? He didn’t want to face that either. 

He didn’t want to face life, and he didn’t want to face death.

He was blind. He was blind to the world, and he was blind to what came after it. There was nothing he could do. He was stuck. He was going to let life push him around and throw him in all kinds of directions until it threw him into the deep, dark pit that was death. 

He was stuck and blind with the rest of humanity, and there wasn’t anything he could do.

There was one thing, actually. He could finish his shower, go to sleep, wake up, and let life throw him around some more.

So, he reached for the conditioner. Popping the cap, he could smell it wafting up at him. 

He stayed in the shower for what felt like hours. It was probably something close to that, but when he eventually did step out, he felt refreshed. He felt like the air hitting him was different air than it was before he got in. not different in a good way, but it wasn’t necessarily bad either. It was too hard to tell so soon.

When he left the bathroom, the sun was low in the sky. The red and orange and yellow light filled the hallway. It was new light, too. Different light than before.

He found Alfred lying on his side on the bed when he reentered the room. He held a small square of paper in his hands, and was staring at it intently. He didn’t look sad or angry or worried, he just looked focused. 

“What’s that?” Matthew asked halfheartedly.

“It’s nothing” Alfred brushed off, slipping the paper into his pocket.

He sat up on the edge of the bed, looking up at Matthew drying his hair with a towel. 

“Listen Matthew.” He started, scratching at his wrist, “ I’ve been thinking.”

“Uh oh.” Matthew cut in.

Alfred furrowed his brow, but continued talking.

“Well, like you were saying earlier… you don’t deserve this. Any of this. And while I really want my parents back… well, they wouldn’t want this either. This has been going on long enough, so i’m going to help you escape.” 

Matthew was shocked, and he was frozen where he stood. 

“What!? Really? You would do that for me?”

“Yes.” Alfred looked sad, but he was confident in his words.

“B-but what about Ivan? What about your parents?” 

“I don’t know yet.” Alfred paused, “I havn’t thought it all the way through yet, but I know I can’t let anyone else fall victim to Ivan. No one deserves that.”

“Alfred. Thank you.” Matthew could barely form words. His eyes were watering, and as much as life still scared him, he still felt grateful that he could see his family again. That was strange. 

He walked on shaky legs toward Alfred and took his hands. Alfred smiled sadly, but sympathetically.

“Ivan keeps a pretty close watch of the building, so it’ll be tricky, but we can do it.” He said.

Matthew’s spirits were finally lifting, until he heard a harsh knock at the front door. Alfred looked up from the bed and unlaced his fingers from Matthew’s. 

He stood up and headed to the living room, Matthew following cautiously from a distance. When Alfred got to the door, he looked through the peephole, but quickly withdrew his eye. He stepped back with his head down, shooting a meaningful glance back at Matthew before opening the door.

It was Ivan on the other side, smiling down at them creepily.

“W-what are you doing here, Ivan, sir?” Alfred stammered out, his eyes down.

“Testing out the merchandise” Ivan said simply, like it was nothing, not incredibly sickening and scary.

He then locked on to Matthew with a wolfish stare. Matthew thought it looked like an angry hockey player about to go for the puck. 

“Maple” Matthew breathed out, taking a few steps backwards toward the bedroom.

“You weren’t supposed to come yet.” Alfred squeaked.

“I got impatient” Ivan stated, turning back to Alfred, “I am just dropping by, but I am not fully ready for him yet so I will return tomorrow. Do you have a problem with that?”

“N-no sir.”

“Excellent” Ivan said. He walked up to Matthew and grabbed his arm. “Come Matvey.” 

While tugging Matthew toward Alfred’s bedroom, he turned his head and motioned for Alfred to follow as well. 

Soon Matthew and Alfred were standing under Ivan’s shadow in Alfred’s bedroom, and Matthew couldn’t be more scared.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos to anyone who caught my subtle references to some other non-anime things I like


End file.
